Short stories compilation
by Suffering Angel
Summary: Bunching together all my short stories from tumblr. Expect randomness and mayhem and fluff.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own the characters nor the stories I was asked to parody.

* * *

_Teddy/Billy, Zombie AU (request from Cris-Art)_

"And here I thought the zombies would get us."

Both looked longingly at the empty water canteens at their feet, a moment before the thunder boomed and the rain began to fall.

"They still just might."

–

_Tommy & Billy, Hansel & Gretel AU (request from Cris-Art)_

Billy took his time eating pieces off the door, as it was made of his favorite chocolate cake which he so rarely had the chance to eat.

His twin, Tommy, on the other hand, ate as much as he could from the door, the walls, the chairs and the windows, and was now lying on the pudding couch with a stomach-ache.

For once, the Scarlet Witch decided against devouring the children that stumbled upon her house, and instead offered them shelter, and a home.

–

_Celebrity Billy/Teddy sharing a public kiss (request from morphia)_

It was opening night, and there they were, on the red carpet, with about a billion cameras taking their pictures, documenting every last second.

Teddy couldn't care less about the world, and he deepened the kiss as he tightened his hold around the co-star that proved to be the love of his life.

Billy on his part was busy struggling for breath, that is, when he wasn't terrified by the fact that wasn't quite how he wanted his mother to find out he was gay.

–

_Steve/Tony, College AU (request from morphia)_

Steve finally thought he understood what he meant when people said dealing with Tony Stark was like making a deal with the devil.

"You're the first person I met who was serious about 'I'll draw you like those French girls'."

"I need the extra credit, now shut up and flex that muscle."

–

_Teddy/Billy - shipping crises (request from morphia)_

If to judge by Billy's quivering lower lip, the puppy look in his eyes, and the look of profound hurt on his face, maybe Teddy shouldn't have said what he did quite the way he said it.

"I just… don't think they make sense together," the blond practically apologized in his best soft, soothing voice.

Huffing, Billy took the fanzine with his current OTP on the cover and curled up around it under the blanket, fully intending not to talk to Teddy until dinner, or until Teddy tickled him out of there - whichever came first.

"I don't wanna hear it", Teddy growled without turning in Billy's direction, instead preferring to fully enjoy the scene portraying one of his favorite fan-couples in the game.

Billy, who had his own impressions on the matter of inter-pixelated-sprites relationships, kept his gaze set firmly on the side of Teddy's head, utilizing the silence-treatment that was brought to perfection through years upon years of being passed down the Kaplan family.

"…your couple dies in the end!" Teddy finally snapped, and forced himself not to move even when Billy let out a miserable whine and a sniffle, knowing Billy had to face the facts sooner or later, and why should Teddy be the mature one about this, anyway?


	2. Chapter 2

_B&T Stargazing_

It was the perfect night to go out stargazing, and Billy and Teddy held nothing back on the arrangements, going as far as to spell themselves a nice floating platform to have a night-time picnic on.

"A shooting star! Quick, make a wish!" Teddy exclaimed and pointed up at the sky where a glowing path was drawn between two bright dots.

Billy kept his eyes set on Teddy's face all the while, knowing that not only could he wish things on a regular basis thanks to his powers, but that right then, the only thing he could wish for was for that moment to last forever, he thought and rested his head against Teddy's shoulder.

–

_Billy & Teddy + Tommy - "We're fanboys, we collect them all"_

If there was one thing Tommy understood even less than Billy and Teddy themselves, it was their collections.  
Different helmet, different cape, different expression, different release date, but the figure was the same, appearing several times in different positions on the display shelf.  
"We're fanboys, of course we collect them all!" Was Teddy's reply, which was bad enough on its own, but then Billy gave him that _look _that meant he couldn't believe Tommy didn't get that, and Tommy was reminded of why he often spent only as much time with them as he absolutely had to.

–

_B&T - MLP_

"Hey Billy, check this out!" Teddy cheered as he sped through the air, his wings carrying his four-legged-self with ease.

On the ground below, Billy wasn't impressed, as even though he wasn't a Pegasus, his kind had other advantages and skills he could use.

"I'm pretty sure that's cheating", the green Pegasus complained as he watched his black Unicorn partner clop his way through the air, small glowing platforms appearing under his hooves.

–

_Tommy & David, after Tommy's been rescued_

The door slid sideways, granting David entrance into the small room. Tommy glanced at him before quirking a brow at the other's offerings.

"I just got back from existential limbo and this is what you bring me? Instant-noodles and cheap-coffee?" The speedster moaned as he pushed himself up to a sitting position. Ignoring his bravado, David placed the tray holding the steaming cups on the small table in the room.

"I figured you'd hate to wait for anything more."

Tommy's face split into a grin that was bright despite his obvious exhaustion.  
"See, what did I tell you - _friends_."


	3. Chapter 3

_Loki found the best way to communicate with Teddy and Billy._

"So. I heard you like... _Mudkips_." The child purred with a wide grin on his face. Both Wiccan and Hulkling stared at him for a moment before exchanging confused looks.

"Why is Loki speaking in memes?"

"I'm not sure... but I think I kind of like it."

At the raised brow turned her way by Ms. America, Hawkeye could only shrug and smile apologetically.

–

_Steve learns more about Tony's relationship with Jarvis than he ever wanted to know_

"With all due respect to Captain Rogers, Sir, no one knows your body quite as well as I do, and-"

"Jarvis, Mute." Tony said, an anxious smile on his lips. Steve frowned at Tony for a long moment, only to hold his hand up when Tony came to speak again.

"I don't want to know."

–

_Teddy finds out Billy's into football, and the fascinating 'why'_

"Huh. Never thought you were into this sport." Teddy said and toyed with the discarded football ball he found on the floor in Billy's room.

"Are you kidding me?" Billy asked with a snort. "If I have to play a ball-game with my brothers, it had better be one I can tackle them in without it counting as a foul."

The blond quirked a brow, but seemed overall amused. He kept tossing the ball from one hand to the other until Billy cleared the bed and settled down on it.

"Now put that away and show me those self-help books your mom owns."

"Go deep?"

"You throw _anything_ in my room, Altman, and I'm zapping you."

–

_Dog AU Snippet - Billy loves his dog, but sometimes he has second thoughts..._

"Get a dog, they said." Billy muttered and brushed some more fur off of another magazine.  
"It'll be fun, they said." He growled and sighed when he picked up another fur-coated action figure.  
"More like '_I'll shed on everything you love_'" He concluded and glared at Teddy, who was watching him move about from the door. Seeing how Billy was looking at him, the dog walked into the room, tail wagging.  
"Ah, no, nooo, don't- ah, _crap_." The teen hung his head low and reached to pat Teddy's head. "You know I can't stay mad at you when you... _exist_."  
Teddy huffed happily and panted before sitting down and letting Billy pamper him.

–

_Tommy and Billy debate their individual Eli-replacements_

Billy blinked at David. The young man stared back in mild confusion while the mage turned to his twin brother.  
"Cool, you got an Eli-replacement."

The notion made Tommy twitch, but he managed a snarl.  
"Yeah, what can I say, I got lonely or something."

"Hey, no need to be so defensive." Billy snorted and held his hands up before pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. "We got one, too."

Feeling like she was being talked about, America turned to look at the three, only to frown in confusion when Billy waved at her, a sweet smile on his lips. Tommy on his part began to _look_ when he remembered what he heard of his brother's new teammate. He better stop. For his own good.

"So."

"So...?" Tommy asked then and turned to Billy with a quirked brow. His brother was grinning back.

"I guess we're both stuck with Eli-replacements we're not attracted to."

"That is _not_ funny."


	4. Chapter 4

_Kate and Tommy debate the word 'codependent' with a very good example on hand_

"I swear, they're the most codependent people I know of" Tommy growled at the recent bit of celebrity gossip the newspaper had to offer, and shook his head. Kate raised a brow at the outburst and slowly looked up at him from her notebook.

"You keep using that word, are you sure you know what it means?"

The Speedster stalled for a moment, then looked over his shoulder towards the living-room portion of the Lair. Billy and Teddy were snuggled on the couch, throwing comments back and forth about whatever animated series they were currently watching.  
Kate had very little to say when Tommy looked back at her with a quirked brow and a smug smile.

"Well. Maybe not _the_ most codependent…"

"Withdrawn."

–

_Billy and Kate spend some quality time together in the mall  
_–  
Kate hummed to herself around a mouthful of frozen yogurt. Safe behind her painted shades, she let her eyes follow the young man walking past her, his tight jeans clinging to his thighs and butt. It was a sight she could appreciate, she realized, and nodded softly to herself.

"He got a booty." she muttered, only to have her companion pull closer against her with a purr.

"He dooooooo~" Billy chirped happily, eyes set on the blissfully-ignorant passer-by before he leaned closer still and stole a lick from Kate's treat.

"See, this is why I love coming to the mall with you." Kate replied and swiftly retaliated by stealing some of Billy's ice-cream.

–

_Spider Woman and Captain Marvel discover rule 63  
_–  
Everyone on that world was the opposite gender of where they came from, that much was obvious to the two Avengers, Captain Marvel and Spider-Woman. Worse still was the unfortunate turn of events that brought the two ladies face to face with their own counterparts.

"Oh no", both exclaimed silently, each staring at the other's male variation. "He's hot."

–

_Clint threatening to threaten Noh and Kate tells him it's not necessary  
_–  
"All I'm saying is", Clint drawled, repeating yet again what he had been saying for the past fifteen minutes or so - Kate really lost track. "Boys are animals. I should know, I am one. If you need help, call - I'll shoot him for you."

"Please, _daddy, _no need to worry_-_" Kate mock-purred and kissed the scruffy cheek for the sake of the act. "If Noh misbehaves, I'll shoot him myself long before I call you."

"That's my girl."

–

_Cassie Lang & Tommy Shepherd, Supernatural AU, after a successful hunt  
_–  
"Woo! Now _that_'s what I call a challenge! Two higher-level demons are almost worth writing home about!" Tommy cheered and threw the shotgun in the trunk before pulling out two cans of ice-cold beer from their portable cooler. "Keep at it and you just might be able to make it in this biz, shortie!"

Cassie eyed the offered can and the grin her new-found partner offered her only to turn away the next moment. "I'm underage."

"…suit yourself. More for me."

–

_Tommy and Kate elope from their own wedding  
_–  
Kate looked at the church from behind her painted shades, a smug smirk on her lips that betrayed but the hint of guilty amusement.

"And after we got your grandfather and uncle to not kill themselves for long enough…"

"They'll understand." Tommy grinned and leaned back while his still-fiance, clad in her wedding dress for the wedding they never attended, stepped on the gas in their brand new car with the "Just Married" sign decorating the trunk.

–

_Billy offers his bestie some much needed support  
_–  
Kate smiled wearily at the person she opened the door to.

"I'm here, with your two favorite German friends-" Billy declared and held up two bags. "Haagen Dazs and Barenjager. Say hello, boys."

The young woman sniffled and wiped one eye. "Haagen Dazs isn't German, Billy-"

"See, that tells me you need to talk to Mr. Jager here, first."

Kate shook her head with a somewhat amused smile and let him in, eager to get this night of being comforted by her self-appointed bestie started.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Bring it Tomorrow  
_**  
"You forgot it?" Billy groaned in obvious displeasure. Teddy shifted uneasily, seeming remorseful.

"I put it by my bag last night... forgot to put it _in_, I guess. Sorry."  
The item in question was one of Billy's favorite DVDs which he lent to Teddy several training sessions ago. That day was when Teddy promised to return it on - but alas.

"Well, it can't be helped." Billy said, breaking Teddy out of his miserable daze. "I suppose you'll have to bring it tomorrow."

Teddy blinked at the statement. "I thought we had the day off tomorrow?"

A bashful smile broke through Billy's stern mask. "...and?"

The pieces clicked together almost audibly and Teddy couldn't help but grin excitedly. "Same time, same place? No scratch that, there's this place I've been dying to show you."

Billy's smile widened as well and he lowered his hands to his hips. "Sounds like a plan."

–

**_Foreplay_**

"I missed you" Teddy purred and rubbed his cheek against Billy's new-found scruff.

"I missed you more. A month is far too long." Billy sighed and hugged his boyfriend tightly. He pulled back the next moment though and met Teddy's eyes, a certain haze clouding his gaze. "...so."

"So."

"Marvel Heroes?"

"You bet."

"_Wait_." Eli demanded, frowning. "You two haven't seen each other in a month, and what you want to do is play an MMORPG together?"

"Eli, _please_, what do you take us for?" Teddy growled and pulled Billy closer against himself.

"Yeah!" Billy pitched in. "Have you never heard of _foreplay_? Jesus, Bradley."

"I'll play Spider-Man, you be Daredevil?"

"Let's do this."

Eli held his hands up in obvious resignation.

–

**_Mornings, BAH!  
_**  
"Bee... Bee, wake up, it's morning." Teddy cooed and placed his hand on Billy's shoulder, shaking him gently. It didn't work, but rather than give up or be disheartened Teddy leaned down, nuzzling in a rather ticklish manner against Billy's ear. That made the witch scrunch his nose, frown, growl, and finally he opened his eyes, squinting and blinking up at Teddy who grinned back.

"Morning, sunshine. Time to get up."

Billy muttered a series of broken profanities and buried the heels of his palms in his eyes.  
"When I remake the world... I'm leaving mornings out."

"Maybe you could settle for drinking your coffee? It would get us into less trouble with the Avengers."

"Depending on which Avenger we're talking about."


	6. Chapter 6

"I swear, that thing is fixed." Billy growled as once again the bottle came to a stop and pointed at him. On the other end of the table Kate wasn't even trying to hide her grin.

"Seeing who has which power, if it's fixed, I'd say it's because you want it to be." She concluded and leaned forward, a glint in her eyes. "_Truth or dare_?"

"I'm not wearing your bra again. Truth."

"Alright" Kate purred and reached for the pile of question cards. Cassie leaned closer to read it along with her and both girls snickered.

"Define your first impression of your crush in five words or less."

Teddy quirked a brow and looked at Billy with interest. The other teen didn't even stall.

"Oh no, he's hot."

Ignoring the gagging noises Tommy was making, Billy reached for the bottle and spun it again


	7. Chapter 7

_Teddy and Billy get to tease Tommy about his not-a-boyfriend_

"Let me get this straight-" Billy hummed thoughtfully before quirking a brow at his twin. "You and David went out on a _date_?"  
Tommy sputtered around a mouthful of cereals. "Not a _date_, noodles! We went out for _noodles_, it's different!"  
"Yeah, I remember when _we_ went out for noodles." Teddy hummed approvingly, a satisfied grin on his face. "Good times."  
Tommy finished his breakfast and sped out of there, renewing his vow to never stay around the two for too long ever again.

–

_Tommy/David - IN SPACE! (Astronauts AU)_

"This - is the life" Tommy purred and crossed his hands behind his head, lax and at ease even though he was floating in space, the only thing keeping him 'grounded' being the thick lifeline connecting him to the space station.  
"The view's to die for, but don't you wish we could've taken out drinks with us or something?"  
"I'm leaving you behind" was all his partner David said in response to that, making Tommy sputter and hiss before he too made his way back.

–

_David takes Tommy up on his offer to go clubbing_

"No, like this, see? It's all in the wrist" Tommy tried yelling over the sound of the music blaring out of the large speakers and demonstrated how to properly spin his shirt around his head.  
David quirked a brow, looked at the shirt he himself was holding, and finally shook his head.  
"I don't even know whose shirt this is." He grumbled, seeing how he was still fully dressed, a fact Tommy disapproved of but kept that to himself.

–

_Tommy and David hit up the Victorian era_

"Ya know, this isn't quite what I imagined." Tommy growled and looked with disdain at London in the year 1884.  
"Where's the clockworks everywhere? The ray-guns? The technomancers?"  
"I think you're confusing this with 'Victorian _Steampunk_'." David countered calmly and let Tommy complain about his brother and his boyfriend while the former mutant enjoyed the city and its past they got to relive.

–

_David still wonders why Teddy's with Billy. Teddy has the best answer._

"I still don't get it." David admitted, not even trying to hide his frustration. "You're an amazing guy. You're funny, considerate, good looking. You could have almost anyone you set your eyes on… but you went back to him. _Why_?"  
Teddy took a moment to actually think it through. He wasn't sure what David's motivations were, but he was certain of his own reasons, but as far as putting them into words went… finally, he settled for - "Because he makes me laugh."  
"…did you just pull a '_Who Framed Roger Rabbit?_' reference?"  
"You were sort of asking for it."

–

_Every minute is like two or three eternities… but maybe that's not so bad_ Tommy thought and shifted slightly, eyes set on David's sleeping face, the other sprawled on the bed they shared, within reach and warm.


	8. Chapter 8

_Name that tune - Billy/Teddy  
_–  
"I know where that score's from!" Billy exclaimed after two minutes in which he and Teddy have been struggling with placing the piece of background music playing. After a short look-up he was proved correct, and held his fists up in the air.  
"Oh yeah, still got it."  
"Yep, your title of Fanboy Supreme is maintained." Teddy laughed and looked at his boyfriend fondly.  
"Of course, I mean, what else do I have in my life?"  
"Me."  
Billy stared at Teddy's grin, which was leaning more towards self-satisfied than smitten.  
"...shut up and come here so I can do profane things to you."  
"Yes, Master~"

–

_Pick-Up Line Shenanigans - Billy/Teddy  
_–  
"Hey babe, do you have a type advantage, because you're _super effective_ on me."  
The look Billy gave Teddy was blank if not for a certain chilly quality.  
"...back to the drawing board?"  
"Keep trying." Billy replied and shook his head, a fond smile on his lips.

–

_House of M AU, Billy & Tommy  
_–  
Billy looked up from the book he was reading, a dull compilation of historical events deemed worthy of being taught by one of the young prince's tutors. With the door slammed behind him was his twin brother, a naughty, slightly guilty grin on his face which fit all too well with their uncle's voice, crying out murder and rage.  
"You'd think the next-in-line for the throne would take it more gracefully if someone beat him in a fair race," Tommy laughed, drawing satisfaction both from the frustrated older prince hot on his heels as well as the way his brother palmed his face, obviously displeased by having his reading time disrupted in this manner.

–

_Not My Idea of a Teamwork-Building Activity - original quartet  
_–  
The four teens stared up at the banner hanging above the sliding doors, declaring the establishment's name and occupation. Three of them exchanged glances before looking back up, while the fourth seemed quite satisfied with himself.  
"This place would be fantastic for both teamwork building and some recreational time. I already reserved a room." Nate declared, nodding slowly all the while.  
"A karaoke-room club?" Teddy muttered under his breath and exchanged looks with Billy, who looked back with the same uncertainty Teddy himself displayed.  
"Of all the things you could've pulled..." Eli pinched the bridge of his nose, growling. "I wondered why you looked so happy... what were you thinking?! We're supposed to be _training_—"  
"I hope I can hit the high notes." Billy interjected, completely ignoring Eli's boiling tantrum.  
"Think we'll sound good together?" Teddy followed up with a blush and some bashfulness.  
"We're doomed." Eli concluded, but as the others already stepped inside he followed suit, trying to ignore Billy's threats of zapping anyone singing off-key. 


End file.
